Some issues and experiences, especially those that have been around for a long time, can leave you feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. At these times, you may think that you have no options left. You may think about suicide as a way to escape intense emotional pain.
People who kill themselves often think that their issues are unbearable and can’t be fixed. They feel like nothing they have tried has or will change their situation. Their emotional pain can distort their thinking so it becomes harder to trust, or to see possible solutions to issues, or to connect with available love and support. Even if it seems that you can’t stand another minute, it is important to remember that feelings such as grief, anger, sadness, loneliness, shame, especially at this intense level, don’t last forever. Sometimes thoughts of suicide can become very strong, especially if you have taken drugs or alcohol.
Some of the thoughts you may be having are:
- Believing there are no other options;
- Sensing your family or friends would be better off without you;
- Thinking you’ve done something so horrible that suicide is the only option;
- Experiencing unbearable pain that feels like it will go on forever;
- Wanting to escape your suffering;
- Wanting to let your loved ones know how much you hurt;
- Wanting to hurt or get revenge on others.
When you think continually on the challenge you are experiencing, you create, fabricate, process or manufacture pain or displeasure, grief and worry. Unless you reproduce or process them in your mind, they have no influence or power over you.
Your feelings of pain are very real. However, it is important to know that there is hope. With the help of professionals and the support of family and friends, you can learn about what is causing your suffering and how you can change or manage it.
Hurting or killing yourself is not your only options. Counseling can help you learn new skills for dealing with your pain.
These might include:
- Developing new skills to cope
- Seeing your problems in a new light
- Improving your ability to handle intense and painful emotions
- Improving your relationships
- Increasing your social supports
Some other things that may lead you to think of suicide are:
Mental wellness issues: Some mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, can increase feelings of suicide. Mental health issues can be resolved. It is important to talk to someone or your doctor if you feel low, depressed, or anxious. Counseling or medication may equally help. There are also free resources that can be very supportive (e.g., the Antidepressant Skills Workbook, at www.carmha.ca).
Conflict with loved ones: You may feel that your family or friends would be better off without you. It is important to remember that conflict with others doesn’t last forever. Ending your life is not a way to solve that conflict. You can have a loving harmony with your loved ones as you speak positive, uplifting and encouraging words to them.
Loss: Many different types of loss can increase the chances you may feel suicidal. Some examples that may set off feelings of suicide include: a break-up; losing a job; losing social status; or losing a loved one or friend. Knowing someone who has died by suicide can increase the chance that you think of suicide as an option. As difficult as your loss may seem, there are people and services that can help you get through difficult times. Look for local resources. Blue diamond support group is here to help.
Financial/legal problems: Financial or legal problems, such as overwhelming debt, gambling problems, or problems with the law, can be very stressful. It is important to know that there may be free services that can help you deal with financial or legal problems.
Lack of connection to friends and others: Thoughts of suicide can increase if you spend a lot of time alone, or don’t feel you can tell anyone your problems. Talk to someone, like a professional, about ways that you can increase social supports in your life. You may feel that the people that are in your life don’t understand the pain you are feeling. Talk to a professional about ways that you can let others know of the pain and unhappiness you are feeling. The Social Supports wellness module at www.heretohelp.bc.ca gives ideas for how to improve your social supports.
Drug and alcohol problems: Using alcohol or drugs can make feelings of depression, anxiety, and thoughts about suicide worse. Drugs and alcohol can change the way you think about issues in your life. If drugs or alcohol are causing you challenges, you can get counsel from the Blue diamond support group.
Medical problems: Medical problems such as diabetes, thyroid problems, chronic pain, or multiple sclerosis can increase chances that you may think about suicide. Make sure you have proper medical care for health challenges. Some medications can increase feelings of suicide. It is important to speak to your doctor about this.
Sexual identity issues: People who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender may have a higher risk of suicide. Confusion about sexual identity and fears of possible or real rejection from family or friends can make things worse.
Dr. Joti Samra at el, 2007, Coping With Suicidal Thoughts, PDF Version.
Chris Oyakhilome, D.SC, D.D, A 2016, The Power of Your Mind, Print version.